Anniversary

Where has all the time gone? As I write this, on Valentine's Day, I am compelled to think about where I was last year. One year ago, I was in Atlanta with a house full of movers packing up everything we own. It was cold as hell (well, Atlanta cold), my husband had been gone for 3 weeks, and two of my three children were sick with influenza (the real flu--not just the "I feel like crap and so I'm going to call it the flu so everyone will know how miserable I am"). We were getting ready to get on a plane to live in a new country and had no idea what it would be like. Would we have a good house? Would the kids adjust? Would everyone be healthy? Would we be happy? In a nutshell: were we doing the right thing??? Suffice it to say I was stressed out.

Somehow we all survived and now we are approaching our first anniversary of living in Tanzania. And I think if you were to survey each of our family members in turn they would all say that the decision to come here was, in the words of Martha Stewart, a good thing. That's not to say that it has been a cakewalk--far from it. It's hard to be so far away from family and friends. When we left our niece was 3 months old; now she's a walking, talking toddler. It was hard for the kids (OK, all of us) to get used to a different way of doing things here. Everything is different and what isn't different costs more.

It's not easy living in such a poor country. There are parts of Tanzania where 15% of the population has HIV and an unacceptable number of children will not reach their 5th birthday. It's not fair that just because I was born in another country I am fortunate enough to be able to feed, clothe, educate, treat, and take care of my family when so many others cannot. I often spend more money in a short trip to the grocery store than many people make in a month. I don't feel like I deserve the things I have but I am thankful for them. Still it is hard to feel like a walking bank: we've loaned money for driving school, boat repairs, house construction, business supplies, bicycle purchases, and countless other reasons.

But thinking back on it all I wouldn't change a thing. Collectively we've all seen and done so many things that we would not have had the opportunity to do otherwise. I spent Christmas day taking my sons snorkeling in the Indian Ocean and marveling with them as we watched butterfly fish and moorish idols swim across the reef. It was incredible to be able to share that experience with them. I've watched them progress in learning a new language and improved my language skills as well. My children now know that there are Muslim and Hindu as well as Christian holidays. We have a housekeeper, gardener, and cook. Bob has learned a whole new set of skills at his job including many that he never imagined he'd be learning or doing. Right now, he's helping to prepare for the President Bush's visit.

So here, in no particular order, are some things I've learned over the past year:

Personal interactions matter a lot more in Tanzania. Tanzanians are very polite; much more so than Americans. People here spend a lot of time talking to and greeting each other. Americans are much more direct. Think about the last few conversations you've had with people. Chances are, if you're American, you tend to get to the point rather quickly ("I'm calling because..." or "I need this"). Americans are usually in a hurry for something--we hurry to the grocery store or to finish a project. We have rush hour and fast food. Here a driver will stop to let you into traffic and drivers don't usually use their horns (imagine that happening in Atlanta). A while back I was talking to my Swahili teacher. He was telling me about a cross-cultural training he did with a large office here which had many Americans and Tanzanians. One activity was particularly telling. He prepared a group of cards that described different qualities and attributes that influence an organizational setting. Each card had a particular quality written on it (things like: shows initiative, meets deadlines, is respectful, harmonious, etc). The group was divided into Tanzanians and Americans and were told to arrange these from most to least important. The Americans valued the productivity qualities (initiative, etc) most and the Tanzanians valued the relationship qualities. In fact, the results were basically reverse: initiative was at the bottom of the list for the Tanzanians and Americans valued the personal aspects the least.

TIA: This is Africa--Someone told Bob that they just remind themselves of this whenever something goes wrong; takes forever; or just doesn't make sensec. It's also applicable when every single ATM machine is broken, when someone making $65 per month invites you for lunch or when someone makes a khanga (traditional fabric) with a design of George Bush, the flags of Tanzania and the US, and some random safari animals and then makes it into a dress. And wears it. Things are just different here. Some of it is good; some of it is annoying; some of it should get large fines from the fashion police.

I hope there's rum--Before we moved here we were big wine drinkers but when the average daily temperature is above 90 for 9 months of the year the thought of red wine somehow loses its appeal. Plus, there's something about living on the beach near the equator that beckons you to have drinks with rum while listening to Jimmy Buffet or Bob Marley. A little paper umbrella would be a nice touch but I don't think you can get them here.


You really don't need all the junk you think you do--Now before you think we are getting all sanctimonious--fret not. We still have plenty of crap and clutter. Enough to keep my mom busy cleaning every time she comes to visit. But...I am amazed when I think about what I've found I don't need and what I've managed to do without. I don't really miss my Swiffer, rotisserie chicken from the deli or gasp! even Starbucks. We've learned to eat produce when it is season and when it's not in season we eat something else. There's no trucking in peaches in December here. In fact, peaches are available for about 3 weeks a year; plums last about 5 weeks. But during those days you celebrate and eat the hell out of them. Of course we can get fresh pineapple 12 months a year so it's not like we're suffering.

And just to balance the equation...there are plenty of things we do miss: potable water, asphalt, fresh yogurt, things that work, shoe stores, turkey lunch meat, bagels, Target, decent Internet, and being able to call long distance.

We love visitors--One of the good things about not seeing folks very often is that when they do visit you value that time together so much more. If you've been tossing around the idea of visiting Africa let me just say that now is the time to come. Our contract runs through June 2009 but the time between now and then will fly by. June and July are lovely months and we'd love to show you around. (Melissa, they even have a Bata shoe store now).

So happy anniversary ya'll!